Freshers’ Week creates the illusion that friendships are instant, effortless, and permanent. During those first few days, everyone is meeting new people, exchanging social media handles, attending events together, and making plans that feel full of promise. It can seem like the hardest part of university, making friends, is already over. But as the weeks pass, lectures become more demanding, routines settle, and the excitement fades, a different reality begins to emerge.

It’s normal to realise that some of the people you met in those early days slowly drift out of your life. Messages stop, plans don’t materialise, and friendships that once felt intense quietly fade away. At first, this can feel personal. You may start questioning whether you did something wrong or whether there’s something unlikeable about you. In reality, this experience is incredibly common.

Friendship dynamics at university are constantly changing. People move accommodations, change courses, prioritise relationships back home, or simply grow in different directions. By second year, you may find yourself with an entirely new circle – or, at times, feeling lonelier than you did in first year. That loneliness can be confusing and discouraging, especially when you thought you had already “figured out” the social side of university.

What we don’t talk about enough is that loneliness after Freshers’ Week is normal. The initial rush of social interaction can mask deeper feelings of disconnection, and when it fades, the silence can feel loud. But feeling lonely does not mean you are failing at university. It simply means you are human and navigating a period of transition.

Building genuine friendships takes time, much more time than Freshers’ Week allows. While group settings are great for meeting people, deeper connections are often formed in quieter, more intentional moments. One-on-one interactions create space for authenticity. Grabbing a coffee together, studying side by side in the library, going for a walk, or even running errands together can lead to meaningful conversations that don’t always happen in group environments.

These moments allow you to see people beyond surface-level introductions. You begin to understand their values, struggles, humour, and fears, and they begin to see yours. Genuine friendships are built on mutual understanding, not constant proximity or convenience.

Another important part of forming lasting friendships is vulnerability. This doesn’t mean oversharing, but it does mean allowing yourself to be real. Talking honestly about how you’re feeling, listening without judgement, and being present creates trust. Many students are craving connection but are waiting for someone else to take the first step. Sometimes, opening up slightly is all it takes to deepen a bond.

Consistency also matters. Genuine friendships aren’t about being available 24/7, they’re about showing up in ways that feel sustainable. Checking in, following through on plans, and making small efforts over time build trust. It’s not about how often you see someone, but how supported and understood you feel when you do.

At the same time, university teaches you an important lesson about letting go. Not every friendship is meant to last forever, and that doesn’t mean it wasn’t meaningful. Some friendships serve a purpose in a specific season of your life. Letting go of friendships that no longer align with you is not a failure, it’s growth. Making space for new connections often requires releasing old ones.

It’s also worth remembering that comparison can distort your perception of friendships. Social media often shows highlight reels, group dinners, birthdays, nights out, without showing the moments of loneliness, uncertainty, or drifting apart. Just because someone appears socially fulfilled doesn’t mean they aren’t struggling too.

University friendships evolve as you do. As you become more self-aware, your priorities shift. You may value deeper conversations over constant socialising, quality over quantity. This change can feel isolating at first, but it often leads to more meaningful connections in the long run.

Making friends at university is not a one-time achievement; it’s an ongoing process. There will be moments of connection, moments of loneliness, and moments of change. All of them are valid parts of the experience.

If there’s one thing to remember, it’s this: you are not behind because your friendships look different from someone else’s. Building genuine connections takes time, patience, and self-compassion. And sometimes, the friendships that come later (after the noise settles) are the ones that matter most.