10 Things English People Don’t Realize are Hilarious

Hey,

Now as you may imagine, the American accent gets a bit of attention. I have pointed out in my previous English to American translation guide that there are a lot of little words that are different. These words I use seem so normal to me, but cause giggles from others. I have switched some of the words that I use, but other I still say to maintain my American pride 😉 The giggles are not a one sided thing though. The English are hilarious! And like how they laugh at me for the American things I say, I get to laugh at them for all the little English things they have never thought twice about. I figured it was about time that I spread these things and let the Americans have a chance to laugh at the English.

  1. We shall start with a couple stereotypes. They actually say “loo” meaning bathroom and are downright OBSESSED with tea. I quote “If you are sad, have tea. If you are happy, have tea”. Whatever the emotion or situation, tea is the answer. When my family and I get back from trips, keep in mind my parents are English, no matter the time of day or night tea will be drank upon arrival home. My Mom has asked for tea when it has been 2-3am when we arrived home. Remember tea is key to being English.

 

  1. Now I thought this next one had been outdated since the 1800’s, but apparently porridge is alive and well. I realize that porridge is essentially oatmeal, which I do love my Quaker Oats, but just using the word porridge in my mind places the people who eat it in cute thatch cottage in the countryside that has a roaring fire and uses candles for light. Not a couple of University students getting ready to go for a night out…

 

  1. I have mentioned banter before, but this specific example brought a smile to my face. I was at a train station waiting for the next train to take me back to Guildford. I looked around and I saw this frail old woman in a wheelchair also waiting for a train. A man who worked at the train station came over with a ramp for her to get on the train. Now they must have known the person that worked on the train we were waiting for that would help her depart later, because the man with the ramp started talking to the old woman about the man describing him as “the fat, ugly one with the glasses. Call him fat!” The old woman thought this was hilarious and said that she will definitely do that. It was a special moment to see that the banter is held within all generations and can connect all people.

 

  1. Now whenever I ask for a Band-Aid, for some reason, I am always told “it is not a Band-Aid, that it is a plaster. A Band-Aid is a brand!”. I do not understand why it is such a big deal, but now I have the perfect come back. In England a vacuum is almost always called a Hoover and vacuuming is called Hoovering. Why you may ask? It is a brand of vacuum. But, not only is it a brand of vacuum, it is a vacuum with EYES! Even beyond that, they have gone as far to give the Hoover a GIRLFRIEND!!!!! Her name is Hetty and she is very pretty 😉 Now when I point these little facts out to them, my use of Band-Aid doesn’t seem quite so absurd!

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  1. The next word’s meaning is rather different when you look at it through the American meaning. Let me start with a story. I was sitting down for one of my final exams and the invigilator (the person who watches over the room as the test is being taken) confidently asked to the room of over a hundred people if everyone had a rubber! Now I just giggled to myself and could not believe what he had just asked to the room. If you don’t know what a rubber is in American terms, it is a condom. So you can imagine my surprise when I was focusing myself to take a final and the invigilator asked if everyone had a condom! Now it took me a little bit to realize that a rubber in England is actually an eraser. This little detail made what the invigilator said much more reasonable.

 

  1. England has a bit of a drinking culture. There are plenty of things that you can do if you don’t like to drink, but regardless of if you drink or not there are so many funny drunk stories. One of the trends I have noticed in English drunk behavior is the need to pick up and carry road signs, shopping carts, or really anything that is left outside on a night out. Now I do not participate in this and cannot really understand why others do it even just for the shear amount of effort it is to carry some of these things home. However, when I moved into my new house off campus it came stocked with both a traffic cone and an ice cream sign! Imagine how excited I was to see the treasures that other drunk people had collected for me 😉 I have even heard stories of people getting attached to their traffic cones and bringing them with them when they move! It is so funny to see the snapchats of people and their finds.

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  1. In America, our towns tend to be rather spread out. We are quite used to big parking lots with stores surrounding the perimeter i.e. Shopping centers. When my boyfriend came to visit America for the first time over the summer, I will never forget what he called them…Shopping villages! Oh I could not stop laughing. It was just such an English way to describe it. I have been using the word ever since.

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  1. This next one may be used in America, but I haven’t been home in a bit so I am unsure. There is a video of a cat that speaks when asked if it wants a treat. It responds with “YASSSSS”. Ever since this cat video has come out almost everyone I know says YASSS when they respond to people. I am guilty of this as well because it is just so funny and catchy.
  1. I mentioned earlier that England has a drinking culture and I have gotten used to it, but I could not believe that people actually just did this next thing casually. A couple of my guy friends were talking about how they just drink beer in the shower and when I asked if that seriously was a thing they just responded with “duhh it’s a shower beer” like a shower beer was just a normal term. So next time you want to shower and drink a beer, have a shower beer!
  1. Finally, as a lead into a blog post i’ll do in the next couple weeks where I show you how diverse the accents can be in the UK, I would like to point out one of the accents in England that I just cannot take seriously: The London accent. Listen to the clip below. It’s not exactly the posh and proper accent people expect the English to have.

These are just some of the funny things I noticed this past week or two, so imagine what else there is to laugh at.

For the next couple weeks, I would like to hear what you would like to hear about so email me and I can write all about it!

Holly